Out of the Slump

Coming out of the slump I've been in for the past month or so and just breathing in all of the goodness of God towards my family...towards me, the mother of the family.  I started school just under three weeks ago, and though it is hard to break into the routine again, I must say that working gives me clarity.  It grounds me and provides some kind of order to my days that I really appreciate.  Not to say that there aren't days when it sucks to have to be glued to the computer, a list of to-do's a table's-length long, or leave my lovelies for learning record meetings, but at least I'm not gone all day, every day.  That is such a blessing, and that is why I love working for a charter school.  Enough of that.  It's Sunday, and I don't have to think about work today:)  Yippee...and a date-night is schedule for the eve.

Just got back from an 11-mile run!  Can you believe that?  Neither can I.  My body is doing amazing things lately.  I'm getting geared up for the Lake Tahoe Marathon again. My favorite run ever!  The other thing I can't believe is that it is 8:57 and everyone is still asleep (except biker-dude...he's out in the Auburn rec. area somewhere with Chuck...my brother from another mother.)  I spoke too soon...I can hear, "Mommy, pee-pee," in the distance.  That can only mean one of two things...she has already peed because she slept so long, or, she needs to get up and go, like...now!!  (pause to get Bella up)  I'm back, thank God it was the latter.  Aaaaah, the mother-work begins then.

Yesterday was what I like to call the grocery-getting extravaganza.  The cupboards were bare!  August is always a tight month for us and we have to stretch the budget as tight as possible.  The very awesome thing about these days is that I get to watch how God is going to provide for my family, and He always does in such amazing ways.  For example,  we have been able to partake of the abundant blackberry harvest which means deliciousness, and healthy at that.  Also, Brian keeps bringing home a plethora of garden veggies via a friend at work.  We're talking everything from tomatoes to cucumber, zucchini, eggplant, bell-peppers...glorious greens, reds and purples.  Which is another place of awareness for me...

I'm in Whole Food's yesterday (Brian got paid Friday...cheers) and I'm gathering goods from the bulk bins and I'm just hit with thanksgiving.  With everything going on in this world right now, from drought, to famine, to disease, to shootings, and on and on it goes...I'm standing in this aisle of GRACE...because all good things are from His hands, and I look down at the other end of the aisle and there is my gorgeous friend with the two youngest gifts of our love.  It's all just very overwhelming, this mercy being poured down on me.  I take it for granted most days of my life, but at that moment, I was totally aware, and I just wanted to give the mother standing next to me a great big hug because we were partaking of His goodness together...but I refrained.  :)

Blessed be, the heat is subsiding...the long, draining days of heat unbearable.  I got to witness the sun cresting over the Sierra's this morning (glorious).  I got to feel my heart pounding life-blood, carrying oxygen through my limbs as I climbed and then descended through this quiet, sleepy morning town that we call home.  I got to come home and refuel with, what I thought :), was a scrumptious breakfast.  Come on, what's better than a tofu-scramble with fresh fruit and sprouted wheat toast?  I got to open the door to a girlie-pink room and gather up my curly-haired wonder and smell her sweet hair and skin and receive the most beloved kisses in the world.

Want to close by saying, if you feel like you are in one of those desert places where life is just a blah, confusing mess of sorts and you can't seem to push through it all, hang-on!  He has not left you.  He is with you, even though He seems a million miles away and you fear you may have disappointed Him for the last time...NO WAY...He knows that we are made of clay.  He formed you in your mother's womb and this place that you are in right now is going to birth you into a higher place in Him...a higher calling and awareness of His goodness towards you.  I speak from very recent experience:)  He is right there!  He has you nestled against His chest and He will not, no, cannot, let you go dear one.  And one last thing...you don't need to do anything.  You don't need to run around trying to find out what is wrong with you, or your life, or where you messed up.  That is ALL covered by His precious mercy. As Bella would say, rewax (relax)...and that is said in her sweetest whisper voice.