Sweet Surrender

Jeremiah 18:6

This is the word that came

to Jeremiah from the Lord:

"Go Down to the potter's house, and there I will give you my message."

So I went down to the potter's house,

and I saw him working at the wheel.

But the pot he was shaping from the clay

was marred in his hands;

so the potter formed it into another pot,

shaping it as seemed best to him.

How do you put into words something that God writes on your heart? I will probably struggle through this entry trying to do just that.

It all started a few weeks ago when Brian and I planned a much needed escape (I got to surprise him with the location). This was to be a retreat for our hearts - to reconnect with each other and with our Lord, and a time for renewal. It was covered in much prayer and I began by asking the Lord what HE wanted to do in us this weekend. The first word that He gave to me was "I am the potter and you are the clay." The Holy Spirit reminded me of a ministry that came to Foresthill a couple of years ago called "Potter's Field." This was a husband and wife team who used their testimony of how God transformed their marriage and very lives, and their talents (pottery and song) to communicate God's redeeming love for us. Brian was not able to attend with me that evening because he was working, but I knew God was telling me that we needed to see this "presentation" together on our "retreat", so I ordered the DVD.

Another word God continued to speak into my heart was "surrender." I knew He was asking me to surrender everything I have been carrying around with me (my fears, hopes, dreams, doubts, frustrations, sins, desires....I mean EVERYTHING) to Him. I didn't even realize how much of myself that I was holding onto and the past few months have been a time of letting go of all that I thought I was, and that our marriage was. I am learning that God has much BETTER plans for me than I could ever imagine. We hold so tightly to things like our feelings, convictions, beliefs, presumptions, perspectives. God has been shaking us at the core of who we are and asking, "Are you going to let me remold you and shape you into a vessel that can bring me honor and glory?...or would you rather live your life looking put together on the outside but full of gunk on the inside? I didn't even know I was filled up with gunk...to my tippy-top! So was our marriage, and God is still revealing these things to us in His perfect way.

We left for the coast on Saturday morning, October 4th. It was such a beautiful fall day. We took our time stopping here and there along the way...even picked up a few of our favorite sweet treats from See's Candy in Petaluma. Romance was in the air but it was so gentle and pure. The Lord's presence was so evident. The first night we stayed in a very humble little inn, but it was just what the Lord knew we needed. He wanted to show us that He is with us in simplicity. It was such a sweet time together. Renewal had begun. Everything flowed so smoothly...in and out of conversation, prayer, weeping at times, laughter. We read (something we love to do together) and then ended this night with the movie, Kite Runner." Well, my goodness, talk about a story of redemption. It was a call to Healing and Love. My favorite line from the movie was the last, "A thousand times for you!" I heard the Lord saying to us, "A thousand times for you...I would suffer and die on that cross, taking on your shame and sin and pain. I LOVE you! We slept so soundly that night.

To be continued :0)