Love's Journey

June 3rd, 1995...our wedding day. Some of the images that come to play in my mind when I think of this day in the history of Brian and I bring a smile to my face. A letter that was delivered to the brides room before the ceremony, from the groom...right after my Grandmother had said to me, "I remember your Grandfather sending me a letter on the day of our wedding." The way I felt walking towards my best friend, knowing that this was the beginning of our lives together, becoming one. The chicken that was catered by one of Napa Valley's own- Kinyon...raw!!! What is this? Oh wow, that was not a laughing matter...but it is now ;) Brian carrying me into our new apartment the night of the wedding and crashing from exhaustion. It was the first day of a journey towards understanding what grace really is, and forgiveness, mercy, humility, surrender, tenderness, compassion and so much more. Relationship!

In the past 16 years of marriage Brian and I have endured together seasons of great joy and also great sorrow. We have persevered through some of the darkest nights of the trials of relationship and we have witnessed the morning breaking over us with all of the glory of 'new' and 'beginning again'. We have almost given up, and we have clung to the last thread of hope. We have watched as it seemed all would be stripped away from us only to find God miraculously intervene and begin our restoration process. We have held onto the Promise of Covenant Love when it seemed all was lost. We have prayed and sought and waited through some of the longest nights of our lives.

Oh, there is so much to glean from this love-relationship. This man, whom I call my lover and friend has blessed me with four beautiful children who remind me everyday that life is to be LIVED and LOVED! This man, who committed himself, for better or worse and stuck to that promise when it couldn't get any worse. The fruit of perseverance is so sweet! God changes us in this place of marriage. He uses everything to make us more like Himself and there is nothing on earth like the marriage relationship that can transform you deeply.

Brian and I aren't always the nicest to each other. We bicker. We banter. We are intolerable towards one another and get downright mean at times...BUT, we have learned a precious secret...FORGIVENESS changes EVERYTHING. We lean in towards each other a little harder these days...a little faster...a little more intentional...not so quick to hold onto resentments. He knows my weak areas. I know his. We've learned to pray for each other and seek truth together in those areas. We've learned to trust God with and for each other. We are the clay and He is the potter. We know that the Father is about making beautiful and the potter's wheel can be a pretty vulnerable platform, but when you catch a glimpse of His intentions for your life, nothing could remove you from that place.

I love you Brian Holbrook. I love being your wife. I can't believe I get to share my hopes, fears and dreams with one as precious as you in this life. It is a sacred and holy thing. May our love continue to grow in grace, mercy and strength as we continue down this road together. My love.