Well, that has been my prayer these past few weeks. There has been so much churning in this heart of mine. You might have already guessed from reading this blog, but I LOVE JESUS, and my deepest desire is to know Him and serve Him with my life. I have been a "Christian" since I was a wee one, but as with most of us who walk this earthly journey, I have certainly had many days of "wandering"...away from relationship with Him (never a party!) At the beginning of '08, my prayer was that God would begin a new work in my heart and show me the "mind-sets" I have let come between us over the years. It's amazing how life's circumstances have a way of shaping our beliefs and understandings of the Father. They are usually not always the right ones to have and I think it's because we see things with such limited "vision". I am praying that He gives me His Vision...for my family, for my walk with Him, and for my life!
So I have been praying and seeking, and He has been so gentle in revealing some very intimate areas of my life that are in need of, let's say, "revival"...areas that only He could reveal because He knows what makes me tick. His ways are as mysterious as the wind and I have found myself turning corner after corner of revelation lately. There is not a lot of pretty stuff in this chick, let me tell you, and yet, He calls me His own.
So, I love the book, "My Utmost for His Highest" written by Oswald Chambers (given to me by my precious parents back in 1994) and it is through this book that God speaks so clearly to me lately. Recently I read the following, "There is no escape when our Lord speaks, He always comes with an arrestment of understanding. Has the voice of God come to you directly? If it has, you cannot mistake the intimate insistence with which it has spoken to you in the language you know best, not through your ears, but through your circumstances." Oswald goes on to say, "God has to destroy our determined confidence in our own convictions." We are deeply ignorant people...even in the way we determine to serve Him. Wow! Those are some powerful words and I will be chewing on them for days. My conclusion for now is that I am such a lost little soul, but He loves me, and I write that with tears in my eyes because my heart is so filled with love for my Jesus, my savior, my friend and my King.
Psalm 84 says, "My soul yearns, yes, even pines and is homesick for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out and sing for joy to the Living God." I trust You Father, with Your dealings of me, and I will wait in faith knowing that You will be my strength and my shield. I proclaim with the Psalmist, "For a day in Your courts is better than a thousand anywhere else!"
*The picture was the view from our deck yesterday...as of this evening, everything is white with snow.
1 comment:
So, daughter...here is your first comment to "Revive My Heart Lord" and it comes from your mother's heart, where else but, eh?
YOU are a "treasure chest" filled with priceless gems and I love taking one or another out of that chest to hold up before our Father's eyes with an "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, SEE, Daddy-God!!! SEE what a beautiful reflection this is of Your dear Son?" And I do believe He smiles when I do this and even nods His head in agreement. And, even more, He says back to me, "YES! I DO see and how I love this one you've dedicated to Me even since she was in your very womb. She surely is My priceless Gina who shines for Me whenever I ask her to! How I love her!"
Again, I comment on your sweet vulnerability here and your openness to declare your heart on your blog. May any who read it see your reflection as a cry of your heart to draw ever closer to the One who made you and the One who will bring our darling SARAH GRACE home to us...His precious Sarah Grace Holbrook!!!
Taking our stand with you, we wait in expectant HOPE and trust our God with His perfect timing again, and again and again...
It truly is in HIS hands and in HIS time. In the meantime, keep seeking to have a heart renewed and see the scene you put on here in it's fullest array when it all changed and become covered with snow! Remember the Vineyard song "It's Your Blood that Cleanses Me"...washing you, and any who call out to Him, whiter than the snow, than the snow -- our Jesus, God's precious sacrifice." That's what the "waiting" is, dear, a precious sacrifice...
With all our love,
Mom and Dad
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